. WHCWASHE .
“Eric …..”
His name rings clear on her lips and for a second, it’s the only thing
she manages to say, silence lingering like some kind of tension. She’s
quick to clear her throat, watching him with furrowed eyebrows as she
debates. She’s not good at this. Not really. She’s okay with sympathy. She’s
okay with listening. Those are things she can manage. But HELPING, really
helping, like she’s sure she’s meant to do, isn’t something she’s quite got a
handle on yet.“Are you sure there’s nothing you’re still holding on to?”
It feels like a stupid question. Cruel, somehow. Because it was obvious
enough that he wanted to let go. Deserved to let go, even. No one would have
questioned that, not really. But people didn’t just STAY. Not when they knew
they weren’t supposed to be there.“Or something you’re still supposed to do?”
Eric listens, but only in fraction. His mind occupied with the ghosts of memories, and his desperation to reach them again. Her. Shelly. The love of his life. His reason for all of this. His reason for anything. It is the memory of her, his need for her, that clouds his thinking. It is only until Liv poses the questions that he reconnects to the present
– a hollow place, without her.
Holding on to— her voice echoes, and he becomes exhausted. It aches too much. There is nothing he’d cared more than to see Shelly again. Be with her again. Purpose spent, rage gone. They’d paid for what they’d done. Perhaps all too kindly, too. Eric had made sure of it. Tin-tin, Fun-boy, T-bird, Skank. Even Gideon, Myca, Grange… and Top Dollar. All gone. Nothing left for him here. The bird hadn’t said a thing. The skeletal cowboy in his duster and spurs hand’t explained. Had he done something— wrong?
The realization then dawned. He no longer deserved to be with her, did he? Not after what he’d done. Not after all of that death, all of that violence. No. Not anymore. Eric swallowed in silence. His heart coldly sinking to new depths. “I think I know.” he says, vaguely.